Little Jimmy

Little Jimmy Tattersall
A small time, petty criminal
Began his life of crime before,
He'd reached the tender age of four.

In nursery school he'd nick the toys
Of all the other girls and boys.
He'd also take their cakes and sweets
And any other dainty treats.

And on the bus he'd steal the fares
Of all the children sitting there.
He also made a tidy packet
Running a protection racket.

Until the school staff felt compelled
To get the little thug expelled.
Who, now left to his own devices
Indulged himself in other vices.

His parents warned him of their fears
And told him "It'll end in tears.
It's time you changed your ways!" said Ma,
"One day, young Jim... you'll go too far!"

And sure enough one fateful day,
Disaster came the young lad's way.
When only twelve years old, he went
And stole a dumper full of cement.

Of course, at just twelve years of age,
He'd never read a single page
Of how to drive upon the road
As stated in the 'Highway Code'

So down the highway Jimmy sped
Oblivious to what lay ahead,
Speeding recklessly he went.
With twenty ton of wet cement

Alas poor Jim, he met his end
Negotiating a bend
But didn't feel a thing at all
When finally he struck that wall.

'Cos like an arrow from a bow
Jim left the dumper truck below.
And as he flew, it crossed his mind...
'That concrete must be close behind!'

Next morning policemen found the heap
Of solid, rockhard, grey concrete
And from the very top there peeped
A pair of size six, plimsoled feet.

So children, don't be like this kid
And try to do the things he did.
'Cos Little Jimmy Tattersall...
Is now a hardened criminal.